Time Out of Mind

Children we have it right here
It's the light in my eyes
It's perfection and grace
It's the smile on my face
~from Steely Dan’s “Time Out of Mind”

Time Out of Mind is a song about doing drugs. I didn’t know that until I did a little research. I’ve always liked the song and the lyrics. I’ve never done drugs like those inferred in the tune. (Heroin or Opium) I received a far more metaphysical message from my reading. In most cleverly written lyrics, the poet usually is suggesting more than one meaning and encourages personal interpretations. The majority of my epigrams are meant to speak to the reviewer according to their consciousness. In the best case scenario, the metaphor is understood in a way that raises the individual’s consciousness. That is a grand and I admit, haughty goal, but it makes this enterprise all the more worthwhile. Does it really matter what the author was experiencing when she tried to put it down in words, if your rendering unveils a Truth for you?

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. It is one of the most familiar cliché’s and patently—true. It suggests that even something or someone who is usually wrong can not only be right—but enlightening so. It is why we should be open-minded to Truth however we meet it.

One of the reasons I loved the Andy Griffith Show was because the wisest man in town, Sheriff Andy Taylor, from time to time, was wrong! Against type, it was Barney Fife who comes to the correct conclusion regarding who the criminal is in some episodes, even if the reasoning behind his suspicion is off base. Occasionally it is Opie, the child, who schools Pa with divination.

Epiphany’s don’t come wrapped in little blue boxes from Tiffany’s. They can come at the end of tirades—yours or someone else’s. Will we catch them? How many times will the Universe try to send you the message you need to hear before you are open to receive and accept it? And what if, like the stopped clock, it is sent from a source that rarely is right? You don’t have to embrace the messenger to grasp the message. Often times, it is in listening to a person with the opposite point of view who speaks Truth to Power, or, at least, inadvertently strengthens the convictions and faith we have in our own. In either case, wasn’t it beneficial in hearing them out?

I recently received a note from a new Facebook friend that, at first, took me aback—suggesting I: Stay outside Myself. I believe she was advising that although we should stay centered in Truth, we need to be open to Light from other sources. Now, all Light comes from the same Source, but it can bubble up from unlikely wellsprings. The thirst for Truth is sometimes quenched by sipping from the encrusted chalice. Lies are vanquished by deserting our own cherished mirages. Divorce your mirage, marry your Vision!

As my aforementioned friend above conveyed, spending some time out of your mind can be advantageous. Take a vacation from the mind that was heavily influenced, even corrupted, in formidable years. It is time to Break the Spell! We don’t use the word spells anymore but, isn’t it true that in some ways, our troubles are manifestations of spells that were cast from members of your caste? Did someone in your childhood place a spell on you when they suggested that you would never amount to anything? This was a projection of their personal futility. The key word is projection. They were reflecting their lack of self-esteem while, quite literally, projecting their limitations onto you! Offering them the benefit of the doubt, this may have all been done subconsciously but I do remember a few twisted and contorted faces telling me, in no uncertain terms, just how little they thought of me. The spell has no affect unless we agree to accept it. When it came to my weight, I did.

I started to gain weight between the age of seven and eight. I was a little pudgy, maybe close to chubby. But I remember being told I was FAT! This was also the time that I started wearing my brothers' hand-me-downs. Although they were many years older, some of their clothes fit. Actually, they didn’t really fit so well. In fact, they were loose and baggy. I got the nickname; “baggy pants”. You see, I was growing so fast and finances were so tight that instead of buying new clothes that I was going to outgrow in a few months, mother instructed me to wear my high school aged brothers old clothes. I associated this "oversized" apparel as my fat clothes. The tag, baggy pants, might as well have been fatso.

Because I agreed to the spell that was projected on me, I began to embody it. I remember going on a tuna fish and scrambled eggs diet. Dieting, at age eight, is not a good idea. My metabolism was never quite the same. I remember being invited to go horseback riding at a nearby stable. I was scared to death I was going to break the horses back. I only weighed 80 pounds. This is how exaggerated my self-image was because I agreed to accept I was dangerously fat, even for a 1000 pound horse! I also agreed that I was ugly and stupid and lazy and God knows how many other unkind and cruel spells. The most insidious and sad part of my story is that so many of these spells were from the adults in my life. What child doesn’t take his or her cues from the authority figures in their lives—parents; teachers; nuns; priests; neighbors—these are powerful figures who are supposed to know better. Think about that sentence for a moment. Isn’t that what adults are supposed to do for children? Know better for them? What they knew about me was a lot of crap that I, unfortunately, agreed to. God doesn’t just know what’s better for us; God knows us better, and thus, knows better for us.

If you still feel you are ugly; stupid; fat; a sinner; and a loser; then you are still under the spells of your childhood that are compounded when we perceive disapproval in our adult relationships. You become disempowered, or, you have never claimed the power that is inherent in you; your divinity!

Break these spells! Lose your illusions! Divorce your mirages! Accept your divinity! You are important; necessary; needed, and divine! You are loved and the Beloved: You Are God’s Best Idea! I’m not asking you to embrace me, the messenger; I am only praying you receive and accept the Truth of your divinity.

Here is another Truth you might not be able to handle. Just as you have had dispersions cast upon you, you have probably done the same to others. Ouch! That smarts, but it is true. Just like the book Everyone Poops, well, everyone Projects! We have all projected and dumped our poopy view of ourselves onto others. It is time to start forgiving. Let go of the attachments to the hurt that was leveled on you and those who did the leveling. Forgive yourself for accepting their crap, even though you were a child, and let go of those false projections now! Then, think about who you have crapped on, who you have placed spells upon and remove them! Call these loved ones up and say you’re sorry. Share how you have found the good news of divine acceptation. (Use words they’ll understand) Buy them a copy of this and the first book! (They make great presents!

As Donald Fagan of Steely Dan wrote, even if he was thinking of doing a line of self-destruction, his words express Universal Truth:

Son you better be ready for love
On this glory day
This is your chance to believe
What I've got to say
Children we have it right here
It's the light in my eyes
It's perfection and grace
It's the smile on my face

May you have a heightened consciousness in order to discern Truth, no matter how it may be delivered?

~Douglas Holzmeier